How to Write a Note
Notes are the workhorses of the literary world. Under-appreciated and usually thrown out once they have been read, notes nevertheless serve an important social function. While notes are very easy to write, a few simple tips can help you to achieve truly superior note-writing skills with little effort. Notes can be written on paper, sent over the Internet, even written on walls or in snow. Notes are useful for everything from love to hate, from joy to misery.
Write a Thank You Note
Write a note to thank someone for doing something nice for you. Use nice paper or a card with a pretty picture on it.
Tell the person why you appreciate what they have done for you, and compliment them on their niceness.
Mail the note to the person or leave it in an unexpected place like under their windshield wiper or taped to their back door.
Write a Nasty Note
Write a note to someone who has been incredibly rude; for example, the person who parked in your reserved spot or the neighbor who uses their leaf blower at 6 in the morning.
Tell this person why you don't appreciate their actions. Don't say anything that might get you into legal trouble. Don't threaten or libel them. Just express your frustration. Anger is fine, but express it with dignity rather than profanity.
Deliver this note in person if you are looking for a confrontation. Otherwise, leave it where they will find it.
Write a Utilitarian Note
Write a note to someone who you live with, instructing him to take out the garbage, fix the broken lawnmower or dig a hole in the yard for the dog to play in.
Be nice in your note or the person won't do what you tell him to do. Suggest the mutual benefits of compliance, for example, pointing out that the house won't smell if there's no garbage in it.
Leave this note on the refrigerator, underneath a particularly colorful magnet.
Write a Love Note
Write a note to someone you are in love with who doesn't know it. Don't do this if you know that the person is not interested in you.
Tell this person why you are in love with her, and suggest that the two of you go on a date. Be very low key about this and draw the person in. If you are forceful you will scare her away.
Sign this note with an excessively dramatic flourish.
Jagg Xaxx has been writing since 1983. His primary areas of writing include surrealism, Buddhist iconography and environmental issues. Xaxx worked as a cabinetmaker for 12 years, as well as building and renovating several houses. Xaxx holds a Doctor of Philosophy in art history from the University of Manchester in the U.K.